Reality check

Sometimes the timing of different events in our lives is perfect. The event that happened to me today was so perfectly orchestrated it is hard for me to believe. So ironic. Yet, I believe it was God giving me a gentle reminder not to take anything for granted.

While I was driving from work to the grocery store to do my grocery shopping for the next two weeks I was talking to Mark on the phone, something we do everyday. Today I was discouraged because I had done a quick budget of expenses for this pay period and did not like the end result, so, I was feeling upset and more discouraged than usual.

After finishing the grocery shopping and loading everything into my car, I was approached by a woman who had noticeably been crying. She asked me if I had any money to spare to help get her family something to eat. I did not have any cash, but I offered to buy a meal for her family of her choosing. She named a local restaurant, and I followed her in my car there. I had purposed within myself not to question anything. This was someone who I could help. Sometimes it makes me very upset to hear people speak of the homeless or those down on their luck with cynicism. I know for a factthere are some people who just want to scam, or use money for other purposes. I have fallen prey to people like this before, however, who am I to judge? If you think about it, if you agree to give someone money, why does it matter if theymight be lying about it? You can always say no. It is my belief (at least for me) that if I agree to help someone, that help should be given free of charge; without me judging or questioning them to make sure their motives are pure. Sure, I would rather someone tell me the truth and I would rather not be taken advantage of, but in the end it is my call in whether I will help them or not. To me it is like when I give someone a gift for their birthday, or Christmas, or just because, I don't follow up to make sure they are using the gift the way I think they should be. Or get upset if they gave it away or never use it. It is a gift. It ceases to be mine, and becomes theirs.

Anyway. Once inside the restaurant, she told me a bit of her story, and it is very sad. A local church is helping her family by paying for them to stay in a motel for the week, and they have a vehicle paid off and that is it. Her husband has been laid off, so she has had to go to work to provide for their family while he looks for a job. They were kicked out of their rent home a few months ago because there was another person who could pay higher rent. That coincided with her husband losing his job. With the economy being so bad, she could only find work at a fast food restaurant and had not gotten her first paycheck yet, but it would not be enough to pay even half the bills, much less food. They have 3 children. I told her about my church and the different ministries they have in place to help her family get back on their feet and even help with a job search. I wish i could have done more. In hindsight, maybe I could have.

After paying for their meal, telling her goodbye, and leaving, I immediately began to think about my previous discouragement and complaints. I felt very ashamed. I can afford to pay my bills. I know where I will sleep every night. I know if anyone in my family has a medical emergency we will be ok because of the wonderful insurance my husband's job provides. I can afford to grocery shop for my family. She and her family cannot do any of those things right now. Her reality could be mine at any given time if Mark and I were to lose our jobs. It makes me think of how selfish I have been without knowing it...there are people in this world really struggling. Not just overseas, but right down the street. You never know someone's story, so it is never right to judge. If I can help in any way, I am glad to, and consider it a privilege.

This was such a glaringly obvious reminder to be thankful for everything I do have, and stop focusing and the things that I don't.